Girls, don’t be with someone who would rather be somewhere else. Don’t be with someone who would be cool somewhere else. Don’t be with someone who might think that he could do better and should be somewhere else. A guy will sometimes stay with someone because it’s easier than splitting ways, despite his feelings of indifference towards her. It can be tricky to read because sometimes he genuinely likes her while his romantic feelings of love and admiration are lackluster.
We also trick ourselves because we know that everyone expresses love a little differently. However, if he’s worth two seconds of your time, he’ll show you that he cares by whichever device he uses. We’ve all had someone who was legitimately into us, and we’ve all felt what it is to be hung up on someone. You don’t have to guess when he’s crazy about you because he’s crazy about you. He can’t help but to exude some of that.
Two days ago I walked into a jewelry repair shop and met a couple in their 50’s who was there buying a ring so that they could get married the next day. I wished them congratulations and good luck, and they responded that they didn’t need luck. They explained that they’ve know each other for over 20 years, and they’ve always loved each other. Before anything really serious happened in their relationship, she moved to another country. They each married other people, and shared the bulk of their lives-children, homes, etc.- with other people. They always missed each other. Somehow, they both ended up divorced from those people at nearly the same time, and they reunited, deciding this time not to let each other get away. They were both so excited and happy to be together.
From the other side, another old man I recently talked reflected on his nearly 20 year marriage. “She may be the best woman I’ve ever known,” he pondered, “but I don’t know if I ever really loved her.” His true love, the one that got away, was a girl he knew in high school.
It’s nice to have someone around and to not be alone, but it’s way worse to be held without being valued or to be a placeholder. The truth is, we work hard to be who we are. We exercise so that we’re healthy and fit, we build friendships and relationships to surround ourselves with good people, and we learn and grow in work, school, and recreation so that we’re well rounded people. If you’re always with someone who doesn’t care or think what you’re doing is pretty damn awesome, then you’re selling yourself short on your worth.
Once I was catching up with an old friend who asked if I was seeing anyone. I told him I was, but that I didn’t think it was that serious. He replied with, “that’s crazy, if I was with you it’d have to be serious,” (sweetheart, right?). And while I rolled my eyes and gave him a hard time for being so cheesy, I absolutely love his point.
Every girl deserves someone who digs her just the way that she is. Everyone should feel like a catch. If he doesn’t feel that way about you, you’ve got to let him go. If he doesn’t know for sure that he likes what he sees when he sees you, cut your losses. If he doesn’t lock you down as soon as he can and work to make sure you want to stay, then don’t stay.
You’re worth more. Move on to bigger and more rewarding things, and find someone who recognizes them.