A picture’s worth a thousand words. Body Language can tell us a lot.

A collegiate football coach, who shall remain nameless, gathered his players in a preseason meeting to explain how they would conduct themselves as a team.  He said in a stern voice, “You are student-athletes. You are a student FIRST,” as he held up two fingers, “and an athlete SECOND,” he finished emphasizing the last statement by holding up one finger.  Now we all know football players aren’t the brightest bulbs around, but they all read that message just fine. And, consequently, the only thing they read that season was the playbook.

The coach said what he had to say because he is accountable for his words.  Rarely are people held accountable for their body language, so they feel freer to express those emotions and are more prone to leak their true feelings below the neckline. Lucky for us, we can spot those inconsistencies. Below are some (again to include all would be a book) of the most important body language signs that can help you decipher someone’s true intentions. Continue reading →

Disingenuous expressions are everywhere.  We are taught from a young age to make our faces look differently than we feel. I always caught a fair amount of grief for the sour expressions I failed to filter.  It didn’t take too long before I realized that showing my true feelings all the time was a great way to alienate people.  For this reason, Dr. Eckman says that “the face often contains two messages- what the liar want to show and what the liar wants to conceal.”  The trick to uncovering deception is being able to separate the two. Continue reading →

The Eagles’ song Lying Eyes claims you can’t hide them, but people try to all the time.  LA is really bad about this, I think because the professional actors like to try out their skills on the real world. The rules we already know about eyes and truth-telling are the same ones the liar knows.  Therefore, a skilled liar will try make eye contact when lying, raise eyebrows in feigned surprise, or widen eyes when pretending to be scared or shocked.  Luckily, some eye reactions are involuntary or are very hard to fake. Continue reading →

When we bargain with a salesperson, suspect a friend is in need, or discern a date’s intentions, our judgement is constantly put to use.  We need to investigate people and situations everyday.  Too often we take people at their word and don’t look much further than the information others choose to share with us. While many people believe themselves to be great judges of character, only a very small percentage (less than .001) of untrained people have the gift of  reliably being able to read others.  Whether we choose to believe it or not, we make mistakes of believing lies and disbelieving truth all the time. Continue reading →