Finally, a girl with a sense of humor! These guys aren’t going anywhere!

Cute Jokes

  • A bear walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a rum and…” after a few seconds continues, “coke.” The bartender pours the drink and gives it to the bear.  The bear comes back again and says, “This time I’ll have a gin and…” waits a few seconds before finishing, “tonic.” The bartender again complies.  The bear comes back a third time and orders.  “Can I have a vodka and…” he waited even longer this time, “cranberry?”  The bartender responded, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?” The bear looks down, shrugs his shoulders and says, “What these? I’ve had them all my life.”
  • What did the fish say when he hit the wall? “Dam!”
  • What did the bra say to the hat? “You go on a head. I’ll give these two a lift.”
  • A clearly shaken up turtle enters a police station and says, “Help! Please! I’ve just been attacked by three snails!” The police officer says, “Alright, alright. Calm down…Now can you tell me what happened?” The turtle responds,”I don’t know…It all happened so fast!”
  • What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? ell-if-I-know!
    What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta
    What do you get when you throw a grand piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner